Don’t Do This!

March 7th, 2008 at 9:45 pm

A friendly warning. Do NOT go to this page. When you are busy not going to that page, make extra sure that you don’t just let it loop for an hour, because it will auto-loop. And it will make you lose your grip on reality.

As an added bonus, make extra EXTRA sure that you don’t load the video up on every web browser in your house and leave with it running so that your roommate gets home to discover it looping on two laptops, a desktop PC, and your console-based web browser.

92 Responses to “Don’t Do This!”

  1. JarrydNo Gravatar Says:

    i dont wanna go but i just have to see

  2. Xander51No Gravatar Says:

    Haha man, what? That was crazy.

    Oh Full House. You relic of the nineties you.

  3. NukesniperNo Gravatar Says:

    WHY!? Why did you make me look? I lost interest around “Asian lady who had to look to a cue card for her one and only line”, but I could see this being good fun to put all over, like you said. Hey Jeff! Click on that link up there! ^^^

  4. derrickNo Gravatar Says:

    I’ve watched this several times and I don’t know why.

  5. Bjorn-ToreNo Gravatar Says:

    That was… something special… So, put it on every computer you say? hm…

  6. BenNo Gravatar Says:

    …Are you having roommate troubles? Is it a situation where he cannot tell you what to do, he is not your father?

  7. BlazehedgehogNo Gravatar Says:

    Screw you, I’m gonna watch it! You can’t tell me what to do, Jeff. You’re not my father!

  8. SavoyPrimeNo Gravatar Says:

    lmao I couldn’t help but check it out. At first, you are like “WTF?!”, but then it becomes oddly irresistible to stop watching until the end.

  9. AJNo Gravatar Says:

    That was ridiculous yet very mesmerizing. I can’t turn away … help?

  10. JonGNo Gravatar Says:

    Damn, its not working for me.

  11. Your FatherNo Gravatar Says:

    In my professional opinion, you are kuh-razy.

  12. ChhemNo Gravatar Says:

    LOL

  13. Matt SchuNo Gravatar Says:

    You son of a bitch! I need lasics cuz I stared at my screen for six hours!

  14. Soul101No Gravatar Says:

    Wow….entrancing

  15. KorubiNo Gravatar Says:

    I can’t figure out whether I like it yet, but it definitely kept my attention.

  16. ChrisNo Gravatar Says:

    CREEPY!

  17. AlexNo Gravatar Says:

    Goddamn you on this day Jeff Gerstmann.

  18. TreyNo Gravatar Says:

    What……the…..hell…….

  19. MaxNo Gravatar Says:

    oh no…

  20. LoganNo Gravatar Says:

    Jesus Christ. Entrancing.

  21. DrTonesNo Gravatar Says:

    Dude…what gives?
    oh man….I’m still….wooozy….need…diazepam…..
    wait…this was a trick your roomie played on you?
    I’d lose my hair in an instant man! Dunno how you survived….brrrr..

  22. LordNo Gravatar Says:

    This project is a 2007 commission of New Radio and Performing Arts, Inc. for Networked_Music_Review. It was made possible with funding from the New York State Music Fund, established by the New York State Attorney General at Rockefeller Philanthropy Advisors.

    are you kidding me?
    funding?
    for what?

  23. DiGiTaL_SiNNo Gravatar Says:

    I’m more curious about the purpose of this video. Because if it’s an art student’s project he probably failed… miserably.

  24. SnuffDaddyNZNo Gravatar Says:

    That’s actually better than most of what is on TV right now.

  25. CagesNo Gravatar Says:

    Mental. I liked the william basinski style faze in the audio.. the build up and the repitition lulled me into this hypnotic trance state. ive sat here for nearly 2 hours now watching them. save me.

  26. MKLOLNo Gravatar Says:

    So you say to put in on every console based web browser?
    OK.

  27. NETNo Gravatar Says:

    GODDAMMIT JEFF IT’S A TRAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPP!!!

  28. NETNo Gravatar Says:

    GODDAMMIT JEFF IT’S A TRAAAAAAAAAP

  29. YatesyNo Gravatar Says:

    Your eyes do definitely start to glaze over towards the end when the music builds to something of a crescendo. I don’t know why you’d particularly feel inclined to watch it again, though!

  30. NetDukeNo Gravatar Says:

    ehmm… i’m addicted

  31. HarryNo Gravatar Says:

    You can’t tell me what not to do, you’re not Jeff Gerstmann

  32. RinkNo Gravatar Says:

    Ok, I won’t. Thanks for the warning!

  33. Michael RivardNo Gravatar Says:

    Goddamnit Jeff it’s a trap??

  34. EdgeNo Gravatar Says:

    I just died a little inside……

  35. top_bananaNo Gravatar Says:

    You can’t tell me what to do - you’re not my father!

  36. orshickNo Gravatar Says:

    Ouch, my brains!

  37. DariusNo Gravatar Says:

    WTF

  38. pillowpantsNo Gravatar Says:

    Aw damn, Jeff, why’d you have to go and show that? Now I have the urge to watch Full House all day.

    p.s. notice how all of the ‘dads’ do the same ‘fist clench’ at the end of their scene. Now that’s acting.

  39. MukorNo Gravatar Says:

    Man, I wish I’d taken your advice. How did everyone do in the quiz when it finally ends?

  40. Jimmy NymanNo Gravatar Says:

    All of those people should become professional actors. All of them.

  41. ontheochoNo Gravatar Says:

    Is this proof of alternate and yet somewhat frighteningly parallel universes? Are we witnessing Full House across the multiverse? Don’t scientists have anything better to do? If I were their father, I’d set them straight.

  42. Brian VendeezyNo Gravatar Says:

    My brain is mush.

  43. MacDorkNo Gravatar Says:

    Wow. Every one of the “fathers” even does the same hand gesture at the end; clench both hands together, and then individually.

    The music begins to take on a creaepy vibe, too.

    Trippy.

  44. JamesNo Gravatar Says:

    Love the attention to detail. Some of the “Joeys” went all out and did all of the hand movements after the crushing “You’re not my father!”

    Bravo.

  45. Steven BeynonNo Gravatar Says:

    …Jeff, where do you get this stuff?

  46. John DeadlyNo Gravatar Says:

    The creepiest thing is the double fist clinch at the end. After watch it 30 times it gets more and more disturbing.

  47. FlynnNo Gravatar Says:

    You are my father, so tell me what to do.

  48. ChristopherNo Gravatar Says:

    I hope this isn’t like the ring or something. Is DJ going to come through my screen and kill me now? Damn you Mr. Gerstmann!

  49. KushNo Gravatar Says:

    Oh dear God!

  50. Citan76No Gravatar Says:

    You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not my father!

  51. CobhammarNo Gravatar Says:

    that seriously, took over my mind.

  52. NotMyFatherNo Gravatar Says:

    YOU CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO. YOU’rE NOT MY FATHER

  53. JoeNo Gravatar Says:

    You can’t tell me what to do Jeff! You’re not my father!

  54. AndrewNo Gravatar Says:

    In answer to your command:”Don’t do this!”
    I would just like to say: “You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my father.”

  55. StuNo Gravatar Says:

    No way am i watching that, my brains would be on the Wall by the end.

  56. Sue DenymNo Gravatar Says:

    Loved it. Reminded me of some art pieces by Bruce Nauman

  57. TuffgongNo Gravatar Says:

    Thank you Firefox for not having quicktime installed. I went to the page and nothing played! HOORAY!

  58. ZmillANo Gravatar Says:

    omg that is solid gold :)

  59. ZmillANo Gravatar Says:

    wow thats trippy as shit

  60. EBautistaNo Gravatar Says:

    DJ #3 is hot. Bad acting all around, but the DJ with the bad curly blonde wig and Phil Harrison as Notmyfather wins the prize for the most overacted performance.

  61. LeprukNo Gravatar Says:

    DUDE WTF?? Are you that bored that you feel the need to cause distress to your loving fan base?!?

    I now have that bloody line stuck in my head!! Damn you Jeff!!!!!!

  62. Stephen MNo Gravatar Says:

    Why can’t I turn this off!

  63. ElmerFargoNo Gravatar Says:

    Damn you and your reverse psychology, Jeff Gerstmann!

  64. KrishanNo Gravatar Says:

    ?

  65. Mcp_ringNo Gravatar Says:

    That totally freaked me out & I don’t know why

  66. Grouchy DudeNo Gravatar Says:

    This would have been better if on the last skit one person dressed up like Darth Vadar as the father and another one dressed up as Luke Skywalker for Dj!

  67. TeeDeeNo Gravatar Says:

    Wait until Darth Vader hears of this, Luke :D

  68. Death BurnoutNo Gravatar Says:

    why cant i stop!?!?!

  69. JoshANo Gravatar Says:

    You can’t tell me what to do! You’re not my father!

  70. PsycleNo Gravatar Says:

    i got one that trumps that

    http://www.fatalfarm.com/tvthemes/FFDuckTales.mov

  71. Kyle CNo Gravatar Says:

    Jesus Christ . . . what the fuck did I just see??

  72. plz read me you dooshNo Gravatar Says:

    LOL thankfully whatever plugin I have active on my mac doesn’t load video only audio in that format and having heard it for about 2 minutes I’m glad I didn’t see it.

  73. tacoNo Gravatar Says:

    oh my god I just turned off the plug-in, oh my f-ing god I’m watching it in a seperate window for a second time, I don’t know if I’ll ever turn it off, Something’s seriously screwed up with this video I’m like rocking back and forth and I feel like I can’t breath.bjcgkggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggj woa god damn I just had a sezuire 5 minutes ago I think I’m turning this video off DON’T WATCH THIS VIDEO!

  74. blow your mindNo Gravatar Says:

    DJ is my daughter

  75. KevinNo Gravatar Says:

    I recommend using this as background noise while playing Space Giraffe.

  76. blow your mindNo Gravatar Says:

    I KNOW YOU PLAYED ROCKET MAN AT 1:17:59 PM JEFF GERSTMANN I’M WATCHING YOU!!!!!!!!!

  77. aurahackNo Gravatar Says:

    Why did I watch this.

    Why did I show it to my friend.

    Why is he going to spend the next 3 weeks constantly saying this to me.

  78. JosephNo Gravatar Says:

    REAL COMMENT -

    Why this video fails. There’s no pay off. If you’re going to build a structuralist film, (This type of movie has been done a hundred times at a hundred different film schools) you have to have a a payoff that brings *some* meaning to the end of it.

    I mean the dude starts to loop more and more, we notice more things through the different actors interpretation, and then it just stops. The artist builds some sort of meta-narrative in the way the music reloops the music but then absolutely fails to do anything with it.

    What? oh, I dunno start looping other parts, looping the video it self, something to give it a payoff of somesort. I would have started playing with ‘DJ’ and ‘your not my father’ a DJ would an stretch and twist the line into music, as if ‘DJ’ was arguing with the artist manipulating the footage, the DJ.

    But oh yeah, that would have required effort, and art grants getting tossed around pretty much precludes anyone actually putting something interesting together.

    Nowhere near the sub and supertextual brilliance that is lasagnacat.

  79. top_bananaNo Gravatar Says:

    At Psycle:

    Dude, that is seriously weird.

    Where do you people find all this weird crap?

  80. KindGalaxyNo Gravatar Says:

    Put this on, put the speakers up loud and went for a jog. Wife wakes up before I get home. Hilarity did ensue.

  81. JohanNo Gravatar Says:

    I can’t believe I watched the whole thing..
    Thanks man

  82. jyurakyumihawkNo Gravatar Says:

    the damn thing almost crash my computer.no shit

  83. Dante KleinbergNo Gravatar Says:

    The horror!! The horror!!

  84. GavNo Gravatar Says:

    I dont understand why, i sat through the whole video and then again a little bit more…

  85. AnonNo Gravatar Says:

    You can’t tell me what to do, Jeff, you’re not my father!

  86. nagnalNo Gravatar Says:

    I now hate you for posting that link.

  87. andrewNo Gravatar Says:

    too late.

  88. nakkeNo Gravatar Says:

    You didn’t just brainwash us all to spread Giant Bomb, did you?

  89. H00NERNo Gravatar Says:

    “Would you KINDLY not go to this page?”

  90. iowastateNo Gravatar Says:

    I did not go there :)

  91. PsycleNo Gravatar Says:

    @ top_banana

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySGtniX4QrU

    you’re welcome

  92. PsycleNo Gravatar Says:

    actually hold up, this is a better lasgnacat for you guys to enjoy, well more apropos at least

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yELOiYgR2aI&feature=related

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