No More Sanity

February 1st, 2008 at 7:51 pm

So I finally stopped hooning around in Burnout Paradise long enough to break the seal on No More Heroes. Wow. I’ve only played for around an hour (just finished the baseball stadium assassination mission, in case you’re familiar with the game), but it makes an immediate and strong first impression.

The combat’s fun and simple to pick up. The 8-bit-inspired HUD is fantastic. Even the way the city of Santa Destroy looks almost deliberately like a budget PS2 game works to its advantage. It feels like someone took a Simple 2000 release, amped up the art style, and made the whole thing as ridiculous as you always assumed Japan-only releases always were.

pizzasuplex

A big part of the game seems to be taking on side missions. So far I’ve punched trees for coconuts and gone after the CEO of Pizza Butt. I guess Santa Destroy’s main pizza establishment, Pizza Suplex, didn’t want any competition. Pizza Suplex. Seriously. I don’t have any real loyalty to any of the pizza places in my area. But if a place named “Pizza Suplex” opened in my neighborhood, I’d order from them every single day. I don’t care how good or bad their pizza is.

I just looked up “suplex” for reasons I can’t fully explain, and after a few clicks, I ended up on a page titled “How to Perform a Pedigree Like WWE Star Triple H.” That’s already sort of nuts on its own, but this warning is my favorite part:

“Make sure the person is worn out first. The easiest way to counter a pedigree is by a spear, tackle, or backdrop.”

If you’re walking up the street and someone tries to pedigree you, now you’re set. You’re welcome.

59 Responses to “No More Sanity”

  1. norton123No Gravatar Says:

    Yea First comment nice post Jeff

  2. norton123No Gravatar Says:

    Hey me again crazy. What site did you use to host and create your site. You can email me if you please. Thanks

  3. RaidyNo Gravatar Says:

    now that the pizza suplex is complete, RESUME HOONING.

  4. SamNo Gravatar Says:

    It also said

    “when you are falling to your knees make sure you DON’T land on your oponent’s head as this could cause serious injury”

    Is it kayfabe or what?

  5. MikeNo Gravatar Says:

    I would totally buy pizza from Pizza Suplex as well.

  6. Mark DellNo Gravatar Says:

    @noton123
    Keep scrolling down, all will be revealed

  7. LoganNo Gravatar Says:

    I think my favorite part of this post is that there’s a Japanese baby in the front row of the suplex photo.

  8. KushNo Gravatar Says:

    This is one of the few games that actually makes me wish I had a Wii…

  9. IsaiahNo Gravatar Says:

    So when are you going to announce your new website.

  10. ZmillANo Gravatar Says:

    that pizza looks delicious

  11. CaroNo Gravatar Says:

    I just became the # 2 ranked assassin myself. Only one more to go.

    The between-ranked-mission, earning-money stuff could have used a bit of tweaking I think. Like, for instance, a “quick restart” feature if you fail an assassination job, rather than making you go all the way back to the “advertising agency.” But still, Santa Destroy is a pretty cool place. I want to know more about it, like why it has its own huge crazy flag, but I kinda like the way the game doesn’t bother to spell any of that stuff out.

    On the whole, if I had to, I’d probably say the game earns $890,000 out of a possible million LB’s. And that’s another thing, why is the currency called LB’s? Personally I’m imagining a future in which all currency has Lyndon B. Johnson’s face on it.

  12. SavoyPrimeNo Gravatar Says:

    I’d much rather do a RKO on somebody instead. :P

  13. norton123No Gravatar Says:

    Hey what’s going on its me for the third time on one post. Just wanted to stop in an tell everyone to stop by my blog http://norton123.wordpress.com/ that includes you Jeff. Yea its about games but i throw my two cents in on movies music and politics.

  14. duke togoNo Gravatar Says:

    It’s a hard game to show anyone that has no history or knowledge of video games beyond the PS. To anyone like that, it looks like a budget piece of crap with horrible dialog, and graphics from a DS. To those few that “get it”, it’s possibly the most awesome game to come out in the past few years. It’s great to be on the Wii, the most Japanese of consoles, but I think it’s going to be the biggest sleeper of all time.

    It’s what Killer 7 could’ve been, and it makes me glad I haven’t given up entirely on Japanese gaming.

    Those missions that require you to kill a bunch of dudes without getting hit almost feel intentionally broken, like a way of screwing with the player to try and actually do it, for probably no reward worth the effort. This all may be part of the retro design the game puts on an altar, and I’m missing the point. Like finding all the balls and getting nothing extra for the last 7. No achievements here buddy.

  15. DiGiTaL_SiNNo Gravatar Says:

    LK, HP, HP, LP, B, F+HP, Run, D+HP (in corner)?

    Which MK finish is that one? Shang Tsung?

  16. ServantesNo Gravatar Says:

    Is No MOre Heroes’ plot in any way similar to Kill Bill’s? Instead of Uma Thurman you have a japanese wanker and instead of Bill you have a japanese whatever. Instead of blood & guts you have blood & coins, and instead of listening to me ramble, skip my post.

  17. SM2099No Gravatar Says:

    LOL… Great blog. Piza Suplex… just hearing about it makes me want to eat some pizza. :D

    Thanks for the advice… I´m off to kick Triple H ass after I finsh eating. Now all I need to do is gain 200 pounds of pure muscle and I´m set. ;)

  18. SpiredCrescent7No Gravatar Says:

    Kevin van horn is not a loser, now everyone knows that Ryan Davis can beat tron with his eyes closed.

  19. CaroNo Gravatar Says:

    Will everyone please leave Kevin Van Patten out of this?

  20. MartinNo Gravatar Says:

    The Pedigree is old hat unless you do it off the top rope. Give me a tutorial on the Shining Wizard; it both looks AND sounds cool.

  21. Xander51No Gravatar Says:

    I have completed about half of the game and I too am really enjoying it. I would also count myself among the obvious hordes of people who would shop at Pizza Suplex.

    The game takes everything I loved about Killer 7 and puts an 8-bit aesthetic twist on it. It’s fantastic.

    If you think you’ve seen the crazy, you have no idea what’s in store for you. Some of the side missions are absolutely hilarious. They are among the most mundane tasks in real-life, writ large into entertaining distractions.

    I’d love to see a Suda 51 minigame collection.

  22. patrickNo Gravatar Says:

    i am fully buying this game.

    after i return burnout paradise.

  23. Moti BiranNo Gravatar Says:

    Off-topic:
    Jeff,
    I just saw the Game Reactor developer interview Kotako have on their site, with Bionic Commando Rearmed creative director Simon Viklund. (Link: http://kotaku.com/351846/lets-learn-about-bionic-commando-rearmed)
    In this interview Mr. Viklund mentions that they “have to keep the size of the game to a minimum” because of xbox live 150MB size constraint.
    I would appreciate it if you could share your thoughts about this piece of information, taking to consideration that this game is being developed for two other platforms, which do not have this size constraint, to the best of my knowledge.
    Do you think this constraint is a crippling factor for developers, and can potentially harm the quality of the finished product?
    Thanks, and sorry for the diversion from the post’s topic.

  24. Fraser JKNo Gravatar Says:

    Sick!

  25. NoxatNo Gravatar Says:

    A friend of mine had absolutely no love for the Wii… that is, until he played No More Heroes. Honestly, this one game turned the whole thing around for him. Its just that crazy. I’ll have to borrow it one of these days.

  26. NiallalotNo Gravatar Says:

    @ Patrick

    To think you’d return freedom itself, feh on you I say, feh.

  27. StuNo Gravatar Says:

    Thanks Jeff, i was just walking back late at night and some guy tried to pedigee, i was like, not today my good man, because Jeff Gerstmann has given me tips for life!

    I owe you one.

  28. nuttaNo Gravatar Says:

    lol thanx for the advice jeff i get people tryin’ yo pedigree me all the time, i mean just the other day a dude ran up to me and mup my head between there legs and oh wait thats another story

  29. LepukeNo Gravatar Says:

    If someone was about pedigree me I’d totally pull off the backdrop counter. (thanks for the tip)
    Then I would point at their pitiful sprawled out body and say ” Ooohhh, YeeeaH! Yer goin’ Nowhere!”

  30. JamesNo Gravatar Says:

    Wouldn’t the best counter be to drop to one knee and fist him in the nads?

  31. MoeNo Gravatar Says:

    When you finish the game, your mind will explode on how awesome No More Heroes is.

  32. Citan76No Gravatar Says:

    So Jeff, in a totally unrelated subject Don Francis finally surpassed you in achievement points. Which is pretty insane considering you bought a Japanese 360 at one point for points. I think you were his goal and now that he has beaten you I wonder if he will continue his mad rush for points. What do you think?

  33. SandwichApocNo Gravatar Says:

    If Pizza Suplex opens up, I’m going to start my own rival brand..Pizza Stunner.

  34. JakNo Gravatar Says:

    Indeed, NMH is FREAKY. On an related note, I see you’ve been indulging in RezHD. F’in A.

  35. HoshNo Gravatar Says:

    Wow, nice wrestling link. I personally like the line at the end of the description. “This is an excellent way to win any fight”

  36. Ef_MaNNo Gravatar Says:

    Cool … nice initial impressions. I’m on the verge of pickin it up and give it a session or more…

    About the suplex thing … man that’s perculiar if something is obscured within that title.

    Oh well, in conclusion …keep it up with the blog Jeff … it’s great reading your thought about everything :)

  37. FernandoDANTENo Gravatar Says:

    No More Heroes sounds like Killer 7 with better gameplay and less personalities.

  38. KrishanNo Gravatar Says:

    I can’t wait for No More Heros. The gaming industry needs more Suda51’s.

  39. ThomasNo Gravatar Says:

    So No More Heroes certainly rules, Killer 7 was one of the worst games I have ever played…what does that make Suda51? Average?

  40. JTNo Gravatar Says:

    haha. pizza suplex.

  41. patrickNo Gravatar Says:

    @Niallalot

    freedom is the ability to return heresy straight to the source!

  42. vgmkyleNo Gravatar Says:

    I loled..Don’t usually….

  43. Liquid306No Gravatar Says:

    Another life lesson I will carry with me till the day I die. Just try and suplex me now, mugger!

  44. Kyle CNo Gravatar Says:

    Very funny. Pizza Suplex will body slam your taste buds.

  45. PaulNo Gravatar Says:

    Suplex. Duplex. Hmmmm…

  46. NiallalotNo Gravatar Says:

    @ Patrick again

    You know, I hear you. It’s Burnout but not, with so many of the franchise’s familiar trimmings to lure you into an experience that’s unlike any other I’ve had in games, far less these particular games. I’m a fan, obviously, but I completely understand why so many self-professed devotees baulked at the demo and can’t get into the full retail. It’s a far cry from heresy, though, to evolve your game. We moan and grumble about the Halo 3s and the Beautiful Katamaris, terrorise unsuspecting message boards with bait and switch bile about yet another Tom Clancy spin-off or the latest iteration of your Maddens and your Tony Hawks. Don’t misunderstand me; despite the whining, my wallet supports these facelifts as much as the next hungry gamer’s. A nip here and a tuck there with the tried and true gameplay we loved last time around to underpin the tweaks - what’s the problem with that?

    Ultimately, there is none. So many games fall by the wayside in this industry. Most of them deserve it, but critical and commercial success are hard things to come by, be it by luck or design, and when a developer - a business, in the end - finds the right formula, who can blame them for sticking with it until the time comes to innovate or die. What Criterion has done with Burnout Paradise isn’t unheard of, and it isn’t perfect by any means; what it is, is balls-to-the-wall brave. Beyond Atomica’s non-descript blitherings, Paradise doesn’t hold your hand or show you that appearances decieve, that you’re really still playing Burnout after all. You’re not. This is another beast entirely. Criterion knows it and as soon as you spend a few hours cruising around Paradise City, you know it too.

    I’m sorry this one isn’t for you, Patrick, but let me tell you, I don’t play many driving games - just the Burnouts, to be honest - and this, well, it’s for me and for me and for me. Once you get past that initial hump you realise the whole world is open to you; you see just how vast and exciting, if not endless, the possibilities are. This is a ballsy game that represents excellent value for money to the right buyer, and if you’re not him, hey, at least you gave it a shot before trading this particular masterpiece in for a cheap-looking Yakuzu knock-off with otaku trimmings and yay, motion control. Right?

    ;)

  47. NiallalotNo Gravatar Says:

    Long post.

    *ducks*

    Sorry to monopolise the blog, Jeff. Actually, you hopped into one of my freeburns the other day - fair game to you, my man, you certainly didn’t suck like some of the “professionals” I’ve encountered online. I was kinda hoping for an officially endorsed middle finger from the one and only to add to my mugshots, but hey, I’m sure it’s your offical chair you had your camera pointed at…

  48. Tony (XBL= HatKing)No Gravatar Says:

    Thank you Jeff! I used to have problems with random guys pedigreeing me as I walked down the street. No longer, now I know to spear, tackle or backdrop.

  49. patrickNo Gravatar Says:

    @Niallalot

    Eh, don’t get me wrong. I love those Criterion blokes and appreciate their plight, but Paradise wasn’t what I looked for in a Burnout and I’ve bought all of them since 3. During races, having to worry about the right routes to take on top of the usual traffic dodging is too much for my little brain to handle. Marked man is a neat addition and alleviates the problems I had with race I suppose. Road rage is still fine but the open world almost makes having starting lines irrelevant. I stand on the crash mode bandwagon and am not a big fan of showtime, I think it’s a bit too random and spontaneous and a 500k point difference is usually a matter of luck. Probably my biggest self preference gripe is that I don’t like the aesthetics in this one too much. Burnouts have usually had a really bright Sega-esque look to them (bright water and clear skies) but now it’s fallen prey to some absurdly darker colour palettes.

    So yeah, it’s awesome they wanted to reinvent the series and it probably would’ve been impossible to do without alienating some of the audience, I just happen to fall on the other side of the fence.

  50. Lord of UltimaNo Gravatar Says:

    Dude I don’t know what kind of pedegrees you do, but I met Triple H at a signing one time and he totally pedagreed me. I tried to backdrop him but he proceeded to knee me in the face. WHAT DO I DO WHEN TRIPLE H IS KNEEING ME IN THE FACE. NOTHING. GET FACE PLANTED IN BETWEEN SOME GUYS LEGS. Thanks a lot Jeff Gerstmann.

  51. Lord of UltimaNo Gravatar Says:

    So, how do you counter a Pizza Suplex. Where’s the wikipedia entry on that one?

  52. Hart704No Gravatar Says:

    I thought that wikiHow was a serious how-to site. I guess not so much anymore.

  53. CaroNo Gravatar Says:

    Okay, I just this minute actually finished the game. I gotta say, as much as I liked the game throughout as a pure gameplay experience, in the final few boss fights it really won me over as a crazy game narrative about games, too. I’m sure I’ll be writing some overly intellectual analysis dealie of it over at my blog sometime in the next day or two here, but for now, I’ll just say that in the end, as a game, it reminded me most of all of great, intense 8-bit games like Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! Like that game, this game essentially boils down to a succession of one-on-one confrontations. Also, the bosses take forever to whittle down, and you need to fight really defensively, as they have attacks that can wipe you out in just a few hits. (In fact, I might even say that one or two of the bosses take too long to whittle down.)

    I’m upping my score on this game from 890,000 LBs to a solid 901,473 LBs.

    Anyway, time for me to pop in this copy of MLB Power Pros I’ve had waiting around for a while. We should play online sometime! Oh, wait, we can’t! LMAO Wii LMAO!!!1!1!1!1!!!!1

  54. JimmyNo Gravatar Says:

    Almost a month to EU release. And Rock Band got pushed AGAIN. Can someone start caring about Europe? No? sigh.

  55. SnuffDaddyNZNo Gravatar Says:

    best part about that how-to guide is who Hunter is performing the pedigree on in the photo… (a charismaless ex-wrestler with the mic skills of bill gates performing gangsta hip-hop who murders children during the weekends).

  56. TreyNo Gravatar Says:

    I got No More Heroes the weekend on the week it was released. I love the game and I wish more people would have bought it.

  57. RolexDPracerNo Gravatar Says:

    No More Heroes is the only reason I haven’t put my Wii on ebay.I love this game!

  58. Hamst3rNo Gravatar Says:

    Mmm…Pizza Suplex.

  59. jonathanNo Gravatar Says:

    wow

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